Why Are you playing so small?

There are so many things to say but the words never ever seem to reach the level of feeling big enough to send out on a little ship never to return. They haven’t yet found a balloon big enough to fit all the hot air in there to lift it away for good. Once and for all GONE and out of your mind and body. The words get jumbled. Anger causes tears instead of words. These people are DETERMINED to never understand you. To never admit the beauty that you are. To NEVER let you be good. To NEVER see your worth and your capabilities. A part of them sees the light in you and they run from themselves. They can’t handle coming up, so you must come down. For a time, it felt like a glass ceiling you’d never break through. It seemed impossible. Those feelings inside seemed far too heavy to ever allow you to lift that high. All those words that will never be heard. All those misunderstanding that will never be corrected. All those truths that will remain unknown. All the people who were told false stories and narratives will never be corrected. All those people that think you are one way when you are really another. A monster when you’re really a friend. All of those people who judge the surface but never take the time to see to the bottom of the barrel. 

It can take your breath away.

Then, there is that part of you that hides from anything that will make you look good. Any accomplishment, big leap, forward movement because it means more attention. It means more room for them to dig in a little deeper. It means more stress, it means more protection, it means more bullshit. So you don’t. You stay small, you hide, you may even find yourself holding your breath. 

Frankly, fuck that. And you could even say fuck them too. But, instead, will you thank them? Thank them for showing you just how light you are. Thank them for showing you just how big you are. Thank them for showing you that you have even more love to offer than you thought. Thank them for pushing you past you comfort zones so you can blossom and open up even more. Thank them for helping you face your fears and teaching you to run towards the hurt and discomfort. Thank them for constantly reminding you who you are by showing you what they didn’t want you to be. Thank them for being your mirror. Thank them for constantly reminding you of your character and for the opportunities to become even stronger in your will.

To my Teachers, thank you for helping me find my voice and my message. It is BIG, it is LOUD and I am HERE.